Saturday, 25 February 2012

When a Partner Cheats On the Diet

This is an emotional post to write. But it happens, sometimes you are dieting with someone and they cheat, don't follow the diet properly, or quit the diet.

I guess it's like going to the gym with someone who is really not motivated... you spend the entire time talking and not actually working out properly, not using the right techniques, and not getting a good workout.

When your partner cheats on the diet you feel weird. You feel guilty. Was it your fault? Did you not give them the support they needed? Does this make it ok for you to cheat? Are you a bad partner?

You might wonder if you should get another partner, or if this means this person isn't good support for you on the diet.

What if you were the partner who cheated? You might also feel guilty, maybe you derailed your friend and they also cheated. Maybe you are feeling overwhelmed with the guilt of cheating, you want to regain your partners trust.

Its a difficult time, especially if you are really into the diet, on phase 3 or having followed it for several months. If you are not in these shoes, you or your partner cheated and you are reading this thinking "Uhm... calm down lady, nobody died!" then you are obviously not as emotionally attached to this diet as I am :P And that's totally okay. This diet has been a huge part of my life for almost 9 months, so I take it pretty seriously.

You just need to move on. Just because your partner cheated on the diet doesn't mean they can't be trusted anymore. It happens, there is temptation everywhere and sometimes it gets to the best of us. You can't let it completely throw you off your game. You also shouldn't place any blame on either of you.

You could always support your partner by going on a mini-attack phase with them. Show them that you want to help them regain your diet-trust.

Person who cheated: You can't let it derail the diet for you either. Apologise to your partner and get back on track. There might be a little distrust but don't let if faze you. Focus on the prize and get back to it. The cheating is over, don't let it open a floodgate of bad habits, move on.

Also, the worst thing you can do is cheat in secret. To hide this from someone you are supposed to be supporting is wrong and distasteful. Fess up and move past this as a team or let the person continue their journey on their own. There is no need to be ashamed with cheating. You need to give your partner the opportunity to come in and help you.

If your partner is continuously cheating, or has completely quit the diet, you can't let their bad decisions alter your success. You aren't them, so if you need a partner, try and find another one who is just as motivated or more motivated than you are. Or just be a strong and independent dieter and keep it up!

Imagine your old partners surprise when they see your success later. Skinny-mini and gorgeous. They will be kicking themselves for not sticking around!

Good luck, as always.