Justifying Cheating

I would like to start off by thanking all the sweeties who supported me through my last blog post. You guys rock. Yes, it is hard to admit when you cheat, considering I haven’t done something like this before. I went out of control. It was great to see that I am not the only one who has had a binge-fest happen to me. I’m bad, I know I have a problem, let’s move on and see if we can prevent this from happening again, shall we?

Because it’s true, I didn’t gain any satisfaction from my actions. I don’t feel better now, or like I subdued future cravings. In fact, I feel like absolute shit about the entire weekend. I feel not only disappointed in my lack of willpower and like I took several steps back in terms of my bodybuilding training, but I feel the cravings on FULL FORCE, and now I have to use 3x the willpower to deny them. Just awful.

Nothing positive came out of my binge, in fact, I didn’t find ANY of what I ate super-incredibly-tasty. I didn’t miss any food enough to sit here now and think, well man, I really needed that Chinese food. Nope. I didn’t. Now what got me to cheat like I did in the first place, and then to spiral out of control?

Justifying my actions to myself.

I used every excuse I could think of to push me towards cheating.

• I have been doing so well with my diet lately, I deserve this.
• I have been working out so hard lately, I deserve a break.
• My personal trainer told me not to miss out on any moments because of the dieting, my Dukan Anniversary is a moment to celebrate, so I should go out and cheat.
• Every other bodybuilder has a cheat meal a week, I haven’t been so I can cheat now and it equals out one cheat meal a week.
• I will get back to it twice as hard when I’m done cheating.
• I will workout twice tomorrow to make it ok that I’m not working out today.
• Carbs are energy and fill out your muscles, so cheating is good for my muscle growth.
• I have been missing nutrients in certain foods because of the diet so this is supercharging me with nutrients.
• This is shocking my system and making it so any efforts I put in the future will be doubled. Making it so my body doesn’t get used to my training and my efforts get stagnant.
• I wont have another of these until November… ok September, so this is okay.
• I have already cheated this much already, so a few more cheats wont do any more harm than is already done.
• I should allow myself to indulge.
• My training focus should be on working out, not diet, doesn’t matter what I eat, the muscle growth I have made wont diminish because of cheating.
• People eat like this all the time.
• All the calories I ate will just promote muscle growth.
• I wont feel guilty tomorrow, I will get right back to it and just forget this weekend.
• No regretting these decisions, I own them and I wont feel badly.

So you see, all these things made it ok in my mind to have my giant-binge eating weekend. But guess what, I am too embarrassed to tell my personal trainer, I am too embarrassed to tell anyone really. I want to get my emotions off my chest but I feel like I failed myself.

Especially since before I even had that first bite of sushi I told myself it would be so easy to just forget about cheating, go home and make a delicious meal. Better on my wallet, and I would be more successful to myself, I would not regret going home and making pork tenderloin as a treat… I should have listened to myself while I was being rational.

So STOP! You! Yes you! The one justifying to herself that tomorrow you will just work harder, that tomorrow you wont remember cheating, that you want this now or whatever you are saying to rationalise to yourself that what you are about to do is ok…

You will never regret going to the gym.

You will never regret not cheating.

You will never sit at home with your Dukan-friendly meal thinking to yourself, man, if I had bought that chocolate bar and chomped it down in the car on my way here… I would be feeling so much better about myself.

So there is no need to cheat, no need to binge (You never think before the binge that it will turn into a binge…) no need to justify it to yourself because deep down you know it’s a mistake and the wrong decision.

Be strong you guys!

Also, as a side-note. It is so difficult not cheating right now… I keep seeing ice cream in the freezer, I smell doughnuts, baegals, my tummy is just craving them. Damn carbs, being so addictive.

Seriously I mean it though, NO CHEATING UNTIL SEPTEMBER (for my birthday) Come on now, I can do it! I don’t want to feel this shitty again! Gotta be strong.

It’s so hard though. : (

Make good choices!

xoxo